Artist in Residence: Bob Eckstein
A highlight of the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Eckstein captured the essence of Erma in real time with his incredible illustrations.
I’m ashamed to admit that I wasn’t familiar with Erma Bombeck, or her columns and books, until a few years ago when my friend and former student, Mary Kay Fleming, told me to apply to teach at the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. I pitched a session idea. The workshop organizers paired me with Opinion Writer and Editor Extraordinaire, Bonnie-Jean Feldkamp (her TEDx Talk is a must-listen), and so began my 4-day foray into Erma-land!
I didn’t grow up with Erma’s column on our kitchen table. My mom wasn’t much of a reader. She still isn’t. And while my dad plowed through books in record-breaking time, science fiction novels and legal and medical thrillers were his preferred genres. Much as he adored my mom and us three kids (all girls), Erma might have been one woman too many, even for him.
Now that I know Erma Bombeck and her writing, I often wish my mother had been a fan, that she had introduced me to Erma’s optimism and signature wit before I hit middle school when a teacher made a hurtful dig at an essay I wrote. “You’ll never be a writer,” she said.
Maybe if Erma’s words were playing on a loop in my mind, my career would’ve followed a different trajectory and I would have started writing sooner than age 26. “Everyone can write!” she said. What I’m still learning all these years later: Rejection is the first step to success.
The Gift of Failure (Yes, I borrowed this subhead from Jessica Lahey, but maybe it will help her sell a few books!)
Perhaps it’s no surprise that I kicked off my four days at the workshop with my latest “Modern Love” rejection landing at the top of my inbox (I had hoped three was a charm!).
I worked on this essay for months, well years if you count the time the story was brewing in my brain. I shared it with several writer friends, including four Modern Love contributors, and hired two coaches to ensure the story was “Modern Love worthy.” I was sure it would land. I even started visualizing how a Modern Love placement would advance my career and help me sell my memoir-in-progress.
What does this have to do with Erma? Everything! In nearly every session I attended, the speakers talked about rejection. They reminded me that much of a writer’s job is learning to pick yourself up after a “no” and soldier on. From keynote speaker Wade Rouse: “I beg of you, if you can, to look at rejection as an opportunity to grow and become stronger—not stop.”
The Beauty of Viola Shipman
The highlight of the conference, for me, was Rouse’s keynote on Saturday night—more inspiring than a commencement speech, more actionable than LEGO set instructions, and more touching than a Hallmark Christmas movie (but with a hefty dose of side-splitting humor), Rouse’s words will stay with me for the rest of my life.
The throughline in every one of Wade’s stories—many of which made me belly laugh and ugly cry inside the same sentence—is the power and influence of strong and supportive women. From his mother and grandmother to the delightfully witty and charming Erma Bombeck, Wade grew up surrounded by women who supported his dreams and believed in him, especially when he didn’t believe in himself. So it seems fitting that Wade writes fiction under his grandmother’s name.
“When I told my agent I wanted to use my grandmother’s name as a pen name, to honor the woman whose life inspired my fiction and whose sacrifices made my dreams come true … when I told her that I wanted people to say my grandmother’s name, Viola Shipman, 50 years from now, long after I’m gone, as a way to reconnect to their own family history and to honor a woman who was overlooked every day of her life, she cried. And then she supported my dream with all she had. That was 12 novels and one memoir ago.”
Rouse’s speech circled around love, loss, and legacy—the same themes prevalent in the best novels and memoirs. The idea of words as the great connector, even between realms, clearly resonates with me! Like Wade, I have somehow managed to cultivate an incredible cadre of strong, loving, and inspiring women (both on Earth and in the ethers) who are nudging me toward publication. I hope to be that for my students, too—even when they don’t land the coveted Modern Love column.
Need encouragement? Join me for a two-Friday reported essay workshop beginning NEXT WEEK!
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